A few summers ago, during a challenging time when my mom was battling illness in the hospital, I sat by her bedside, sharing heartfelt moments of reminiscence.
It was as if she knew that her time of leaving this world was drawing near, and she wanted to bring closure to certain things on her mind.
In those precious moments, she looked at me with so much love in her eyes and told me that I had always been the apple of her eye, and she felt an overwhelming sense of protectiveness towards me when I was young.
She acknowledged the typical maternal instincts, but there was something more profound she wanted to share.
As we delved into the past, she revealed how I used to fear so many "firsts" in life – the first day of school, the first time riding a bike, even something as simple as the first time on a merry-go-round.
These new experiences would fill me with timidity and anxiety, and I could never quite shake off those feelings.
She recounted a fear that stuck with me the most – my terror of going into the ocean. Whenever someone suggested it, I would become hysterical, unwilling to leave the comfort of the cooler of food and the safety of the shade under the umbrella.
To help me overcome this fear, she would hold me in her arms and gently encourage me every step of the way.
What touched me deeply was that she recalled that day in the bay when the water was so calm it looked like glass and no deeper than my ankles. The fear wasn't about the water but letting go of her.
Little did we know that her underlying message would be so prophetic. Just a month later, she passed away, leaving me with cherished memories and life lessons that continue to shape me.
Looking back on moments with my mom, it's clear that feeling uneasy about trying something new is universal. It's not just the fear of not knowing what's coming but also about saying goodbye to the comfort and security we're used to.
Last week, I listened to a podcast by Brené Brown, a professor, author, and inspiring podcast host. She was talking about what she calls an "FFT," which stands for "F*cking First Time." The stuff she said was pretty awesome!
An FFT is the perfect way to describe that jittery, uncomfortable feeling you get when doing something for the first time. Whether going for your first job interview, starting a new gig, learning a new skill, making your first sales pitch, or tackling a career change, it can be a wild ride.
As I soaked up what Brené was saying, I realized that many of us tend to stick to our comfort zones and avoid these FFTs. We like the routines that make us feel like we've got everything under control in our little world.
But even the most laid-back folks still feel unease and insecurity when they enter the unknown.
However, I've figured out that there are a few things you can do to deal with the discomfort:
Acknowledge Your Feelings
FFTs are just part of life's package deal. When trying something new, being honest with yourself and the people around you about how you're feeling is okay. Being open about it can lead to helpful ways to handle it.
Learn from the Discomfort
Feeling on edge during an FFT is normal and a sign that you're growing. Embracing the stress and confusion that often come with new experiences is vital to your personal development.
Remember, It's Temporary
That uncomfortable feeling that accompanies each FFT will only hang around for a while. It's essential to keep things in perspective. You won't be stuck in that anxious state indefinitely; you'll adapt, learn, and come out of it with valuable lessons.
Embrace the Learning Curves
Cut yourself slack and understand there's usually a learning curve when diving into something new. You don't have to be perfect from day one. It's okay not to have all the answers when stepping into the unknown. Just remember, you're taking a brave step forward.
Taking on new experiences with courage and the right mindset can lead to fantastic growth and new skills.
Yes, "F*cking First Times" can be overwhelming and challenging, but they won't stay first forever.
I've realized that facing the discomfort and taking on these moments head-on allows us to conquer our fears and come out stronger on the other side.
So, just like that little boy who eventually made his way into the ocean, I've also learned to face my fears. I'm still learning.
Life is all about firsts and new beginnings, and I'm embracing them with a determination to grow through every experience.
My mom's words and the courage she instilled in me have become my guiding light, and I'm carrying them with me as I navigate life's journey.
I hope you find the courage to light your path, too.
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